So, I'm just watching the Cubs finally blow somebody else out instead of having it done to them. It was a nice feeling, a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon. As is not unusual for a baseball game, there is some time to fill, and what a better, more delightful way to fill it with shots of the crowd? Oh, look, there's a lovely elderly lady. Let's see what she's doing with her day at the venerable old ballpark. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THAT ABOMINATION?!?!?!?
Really, this raises far more questions than it answers. It was even worse in motion, as it certainly appeared as if the lady was holding a conversation with the puppet. It also kind of looks like the puppet* has its own seat. Did the puppet have its own ticket? That's. . .well, that would be a little different. But, I can't blame an usher for letting it pass. We learned about denying non-humans admittance, I think. The younger lady was pretty clearly enjoying some sort of mixed drink. Judging by the look on her face, she enjoyed more a few of those drinks. And, honestly, if I had to sit beside an almost certainly crazed senior citizen carrying on a conversation with her puppet** for a whole afternoon in a lopsided game, I would probably have a few drinks, too. *I'm assuming it's a puppet, anyway, and not just a really creepily proportioned person in an even creepier suit. **Who clearly was relaying what Ron Santo was saying about the game through his headphones. And don't try to tell me Ronnie is dead. Look at that thing's eyes. Clearly summoning dark spirits from beyond is old hat. You can't convince me channeling one of the most beloved Cubs ever to continue calling games from beyond is out of its grasp. As terrifying as that thing is, though, I would be lying if I said I wasn't fascinated. Is that puppet and its minion regulars at games? Is this thing in the crowd more often than it's not, and somehow we just never knew? WGN and CSN-Chicago would be doing us a grave disservice if this thing didn't regularly grace our screens all season long if that is the case. Upon conclusion of the game, it would seem that these two ladies were at the game together, as they were splitting a W flag to sing along with "Go Cubs Go." Which would probably just make me drink harder, honestly. I wonder how that conversation went. "Hey, Grandma, I got tickets to the game on Sunday. Want to go?" "Sure, honeybuns, let me get Joey dressed up for the game and I'll be right there!" Tell me you wouldn't immediately be counting out your alcohol budget and seeing what you could squeeze out of it at that point. There is no way you can't tell me that with a straight face unless A) you don't at all budget your alcohol at games or B) are a ventriloquist. But, hey, the Cubs won, so maybe we're onto to something here. Comments are closed.
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